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TOPIC: drinking and driving

drinking and driving 6 years 8 months ago #79737

  • red gong
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An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
" Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,
"that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

____________________________________________________________________________________

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.
My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible.
Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
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Re:drinking and driving 6 years 8 months ago #79740

  • pt_aussie
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B) :laugh: :laugh: B)
Cruisin with a smile on my face
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Re:drinking and driving 6 years 8 months ago #79744

  • White Cruisn
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:D/ he's at it again.

- Ray
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Re:drinking and driving 6 years 7 months ago #79883

  • QuicksilverDon
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Allow me to add...From a US PT Forum.
You can change Italian to Irishman...

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"


"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."
Silver \'05 Limited w/turbo auto, sunroof; K&N FIPK, BTG Dual exhaust, E&G grill, lowered rear 1.5\", LED washer lights, catch can, Aoogah horn, sunroof deflector, hood struts, 7/8\" rear sway bar,...
traded in Silver 2002 Touring Edition w/87,000 + miles
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